Film Thoughts

As promised I will give you a run down of what I thought of the movies I watched this week. I watched Julie & Julia, RED, and The Fighter.

Julie & Julia has two of my favorite actresses, Meryl Streep and Amy Adams...so a definite good bet, right? Well I wasn't terribly disappointed by the film, just mildly irritated. I think that the two actresses were amazing at truly losing themselves in the character, but the script was a bit lacking for me. I felt like the whole movie was leading to a climax of the two meeting, and when that didn't happen I felt robbed and like the movie had no purpose of telling the two stories parallel to one another. I also feel because there were two stories being told I didn't get enough character development out of either story. The actors did what they could...I mean come on they are Meryl Streep and Amy Adams, but the movie didn't pull me in completely.

RED...let me start by saying that I am not a huge fan of action movies. I always feel like there is little to no character development, and let's just be honest character development is what interests me most. This movie was no exception to my normal feeling on action films. I didn't know what the point or plot of the movie was until at least 45 mins in. I didn't feel like Mary Louise Parker had a believable character, not because of acting choices, but again because of script. I am sorry but even if I did want to travel the world, if some guy kidnapped me and people were trying to kill me I think I would have more of a crawl up into a little ball on the floor and cry reaction than a "hey let's join in on the game" mentality...that might be just be my reaction, but it wasn't working for me. It was somewhat amusing at parts, but not enough to make up for the fact that I really didn't care if the characters died...which is sort of a problem.

Last but not least is The Fighter. I heard amazing things about this movie. I actually really enjoyed this film. This is a character driven story...my favorite, and I think the plot as well as the characters were very intriguing. Christian Bale...OMG amazing fantastic job. I really thought he was a crack addict. Amy Adams...I love you, and admire how beautifully you became so raw. Wonderful character development here. The plot kept me interested, I at no point wondered how much longer the movie was going to be. This would have to be my favorite out of the three.

I am by no means a film critique...but I do enjoy watching films and studying them. I feel it is important as an artist to study my craft, the good and the bad. So, here is my humble opinion on these films...hope not to offend anyone!

Grettings!

Well folks there is not much to update you with currently...but I figured I still might as well tell you what is new!

Let's start with the most exciting news, which is that I have my first official IMDb credit up!!! This makes me very happy. It gives me just a touch more credibility as an actress. So now with my IMDb credit, SAG-e status, and reel in tow I am set and on the quest to find an agent! Wish me luck:)

I am still working both jobs and making a lot of money!! Gabe and I are planning to buy a camera in the next few weeks to take our own headshots with, and so we can film some smaller projects ourselves. This is excitement.

Lastly, I am planning to start analyzing the work of the actresses I most admire. I am planning to watch at least 2 movies a week and go through them here on my blog. I will tell you all what I thought was great or not so great about the movies, and the performances. I hope to get some participation with these new blogs!!

Expect my first review within the week!

Have a great day.

Prayers are with Japan.

Update!!

Let me first apologize that I have not blogged for so long. I have a been a busy busy bee lately!

As most of you know from reading Gabriel's blogs we have taken a short hiatus from acting in order to get our personal lives situated. In December Gabe moved back up to San Jose to work, and I stayed in the valley and started my new 9am-5pm job. It was a really rough patch that was necessary for our future.

Happily two weeks ago Gabe moved back down, and we moved into our beautiful new apartment. (A blog about our apartment to come soon)

I also recently got a job hostessing at Vivian's Millenium Cafe in Studio City on the weekends. Yes, this means I am currently working 6 to 7 days a week...and yes, it is exhausting. But the plan is to make as much money as humanly possible until I get an agent. Once I have an agent I am hoping to only work my data entry job for 30 hours a week and hostess on Sat morning! This would allow me freedom in the afternoons to still act and audition.

The hunt for an agent will continue once pilot season is over. I am more determined than ever to make progress in my career. I have devised a slightly new tactic to approach getting an agent and I will fill you in on it once I see how it goes.

As most of you know I am also a singer. I have had the dream since the age of 12 to have my own original music. Between the ages of 13-16 I actually stopped acting as much and pursued singing as a career. I realized that acting is my first and foremost passion, which is why I returned to it. I have met an extremely talented musician who I am working with now to create some original songs. I write the lyrics and tell him the style and then he writes the music to match!

I am actually recording my first song this weekend!! I can't wait to hear it all put together professionally. I also can't wait for you all to hear it!

That is all for now! I will be blogging again soon...trust me, once my song is done you won't be able to get away from my blogs and posts ;)

Late night musings

Never has there been a better time in my life to remember the power of positive thought. We create our reality, so why not create a great one? Obstacles are merely that...something that is intended to be overcome. Usually an obstacle contains a lesson that leads us to a fuller and more present life experience. There is always something negative to bring you down, but there is always something positive on the other side of that. If I can train myself to tilt my glass until appearing fuller, maybe there will come a day when it is no longer an illusion and my cup will actually be fuller. By letting life control me I am choosing not to take an active part in my existence, therefore if I regain power and tell the universe what I want and expect those things will become part of me and my experience. The world is so full of opportunity!

The tale of a hernia repair

This last month has been a roller coaster ride for sure. I have been through a lot and figured I would share some of that with you. I will try to do a readers digest version, as to not have a 10 page long blog.

To begin this tale we start with the problem...I got a hernia (a tear in the tendons in the stomach) right above my belly button about a month and a half ago. It was bulging out, hurt, and was making me constantly feel nauseated. Before the diagnosis was positively made I went to the ER to see what I could find out. The doctor at the ER was something else. Her response was that "maybe it is a part of your anatomy that you have never noticed before." She only gave me numbers to hernia specialists because I insisted I thought it was a hernia.

Next step, I went to see the hernia specialist. The specialist took a look, felt it and the diagnosis was officially made...hernia repair surgery was in order.

Here is where it gets tricky. I have insurance through my work, but have never been told much about or used insurance. Needless to say I was a little clueless...and will forever do research in the future before anything that requires insurance.

The specialist I had chosen to go with was out of network and had told me over the phone that the total cost would be $2800, and that I had to pay the $1500 deductible before I could get the surgery. I called the county hospital to see if they could work something out that was a little more money friendly, and they told me that normally I would qualify for low income help, but because I have insurance I have to use that and they don't accept my insurance (Blue Cross Blue Shield).

Quick note, I thought the difference between in network and out of network meant just a slight difference between the amount I was responsible for...and I had a specific referral to this doctor and trusted his work so I figured it was worth paying a little more.

I somehow magically came up with the deductible and scheduled the surgery.

The surgery was outpatient and lasted only an hour. They basically went in and pushed the intestines back into place, sewed up the tendon, and put a piece of mesh over it for strength. When I woke up I felt ok, but standing up to get in the wheelchair was massively painful. They didn't want to give me a pain killer before I left because it increases nausea and since I just had surgery on my stomach vomiting would be extremely painful and bad for the stitches.

So I just had to deal with the pain until I got home where I basically passed out in a drug coma for two straight days. After that I slowly started feeling better and was completely off pain killers within 2 weeks. I started walking around as much as possible to keep the blood flowing.

Everything is going great until I get the bill from the surgery stating that the total cost was $13000...a little more than $2800. After some reserach I found that to be a reasonable price for the surgery but was just a little upset I wasn't made aware of this price when I originally asked. I also found out at a later point that had I gone in network I would have been responsible for nothing after the deductible, but now I am responsible for 30% of the $13000...ouch. Not to mention I had to take a full month off work for recovery.

I will admit this whole thing really got me down for a while and that the recovery process has been hard. But in the end, now coming out on the other side, I can say that life is great. Things always work themselves out, and as long as you learn the lessons that come along with hardships that is the best you can do. Not to mention how great Gabriel DeVine was throughout the whole process, helping me, staying by my side to make sure I always had what I needed, watching endless amounts of movies with me, teaching me chess, and helping me to remember the good things in life. It is appreciating the small things that makes your whole life great...every moment.

Finding a Balance

All my life I have heard the phrase "everything in moderation." And I have always thought that it makes perfect sense. It seems the way to a happy and full life is to have and do a little bit of everything but none to the extreme. But over the years I have found the practice of this little phrase to be a lot harder than it sounds.

In most areas of my life it is not a problem...eat in moderation, sleep in moderation, work in moderation, exercise in moderation....etc. But there are a couple of areas that I struggle with in regards to this word I have been repeating over and over thus far in my blog...and those areas are in ambition and patience.

Let's start with ambition. I understand why it is not favorable to be less than lack luster with ambition and why it is not recommended to be overly ambitious...but I tend toward the latter. I can't help it. My whole life I have always known that I wanted more than what I had...I know that I want to be financially set forever, that I want to be well educated, I want to make a name for myself in acting and music, and I am willing to push myself to get these things. Some of you may be thinking this is great...and it is, but it can also be a curse because I am willing to sacrifice my health and other areas of my life in order to pursue my ambitious thoughts.

Next we have patience. Unlike ambition the problem is not that I have too much patience it is the that I have no patience. This leads to many problems when my ambitions are so high and require so much time and effort. So not only do I want all of these great things but I want them right away...leads to a lot of stress folks.

Although these first two areas can cause me to get easily irritated or stressed out they are also the reasons I have and will make it so far. I am appreciative that I have the internal grit to keep at my dreams no matter what. The key now is to find a balance with them...to come to a place where I can accept that it is my perseverance that, in a way, defines my character.

Balance is the key to a happy life, as we have all heard, so my goal is aiming to find that balance in all areas...it shall be a journey, but isn't that what life is...a journey?

Crazy Marie

As an actor I go back and forth on method acting...there are some parts of the technique that I love and some that I am not sure about.

I have been acting for the last 17 years of my life. In that time I have probably only done method techniques a handful of times. I am not sure if this is out of choice or necessity. Method acting can be a very difficult thing to do when you have to live a normal everyday life at the same time. I can't wait for the day when I have a month or two to dedicate entirely to becoming my character.

An example of this was my character preparation for The Harmony Theory. I play Marie who is an incarnation of Edward and is also, for lack of better description, a crack whore who ends up in an insane asylum. Wel,l I envisioned her being very confused and weak in the insane asylum, and in my ideal world I would have been able to eat 800 calories a day for the 2 weeks leading up to filming and lock myself in my room to sleep and listen to music that makes me feel crazy. But because I still have my day job working at Starbucks and because I have a social life plus 2 other projects I am filming I could not do these things. So I did the most I could within my conditions.

There are many things that method acting can do for a character that nothing else can, it helps to pull the emotions in a more real and raw fashion, and it puts you into the mindset of the character. But it can also be hard to come out of character once you delve completely in. For instance, this last couple weeks in preparation for Marie I cut my calories dramatically and the day of filming I ate very little and all of it was sugar, because I know how my body feels when I do that...I feel jittery and my mind can't focus and I feel weak. But now, today, one day later I am having a difficult time coming back out of the depressed and crazy Marie. I am struggling to stay positive and I find myself thinking of things the way Marie would.

I also feel sometimes that a great actor should be able to pull the emotions from themselves without taking drastic measures to get there..which is what method acting is. I have heard coaches tell me before that a great actor should be able to differentiate themselves from the character and should be able to switch back and forth freely.

But there are plenty of great actors from both sides of the tracks on this one.

So as of now, the jury is still out on how I feel about method acting.

Hope this gave you a bit more insight into my most recent character development.